An Open Letter to my dear Blog

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Dear TTWLL,

I know what you're thinking. And yes, you have every right to resent me in the same way a child resents their absent career-driven, borderline alcoholic mother. I have been absent. And I'm career driven. And there's no question that I'm a borderline alcoholic. But I'm here to make amends, in the hope that we can start 2011 together and put my/our negligent past behind us. After all, you're barely a year old, and in human years, that means you're only just learning how to waddle around and pronounce big words. Seeing you're not really old enough to hold grudges, I'm going to assume everything is cool between us and we can sally forth on our adventure through adulthood.

I considered deleting you, for a little while. I wasn't sure how to feel about having this huge back-catalogue of my life on display for any old Tom, Dick or Harry to find, especially whilst job hunting and generally trying to be an impressive human being. But I arrived at the conclusion that I'm not ashamed of the person I am, or have been, and there's no need to worry about potential employers, boyfriends and miscellaneous companions stalking me. Partly because I really do enjoy feeling like I have some sort of online presence, and mostly because it's really therapeutic for me to have a space to write about my random little observations of life.

You've served me well over the last twelve months, patiently waiting on the sidelines every time I abandonned you in times of manic despair and/or craziness. You've introduced me to so many interesting people all over the world, and because of you, I get all sorts of interesting things in my inbox from other artsy tea-drinking types. On the whole, you've provided me with the ideal relationship: I come here to talk about myself, you listen without judgement, and you don't get mad when I disappear for weeks at a time. I can dress you up however I like, and I'm not embarrassed to introduce you to my friends. You've never made demands to meet my parents, and we both seem content to keep it that way. You and I have exactly the sort of relationship I crave to have with other people, but alas, other people have this thing called subjectivity that compels them to have opinions and demands of their own.

So, my little blog, I do hope you can forgive me for the huge void of silence. I know you'll probably be in therapy one day working through your abandonment issues, but we both know, deep down, that I love you very much.

A. xx